How to Find a Therapist 101

            The process of therapy can open the door to some very vulnerable experiences, knowing this, it is vital for you to find a therapist that can create the space you need to feel safe to do so. Deciding to take the first step in seeking help is a courageous one; so, in writing this, I hope that you will come away from reading this will tools and perspective that will alleviate any of the barriers to finding the right therapist for you. I want to celebrate your choice in looking for healing but also equip you with what you need in a somewhat daunting process.

            The first step of this process is evaluating what your goals are in seeking out therapy. Understanding this will help you in filtering through therapists that will help you meet those goals and those that might not be suited for your specific needs. Here are a few questions you can use to reflect on your needs:

·       What are the issues that feel most distressing in my life that I would like to address in counseling?

·       Think about the end of the counseling process, what do you want to have accomplished and how do you want to feel once you finish?

·       What are some of my personal values and beliefs around healing and therapy in general?

From here, you can write down the answers to your questions and use them to answer the question that therapists usually ask in their 15-minute phone consultation: what’s bringing you to counseling? This will allow you to best communicate and advocate for your needs.

Next, when you’re searching through counselors in whatever search engine you’re using, filter through them based on your current problems and any other needs you have. Some things to consider would be if they take insurance or not, what kind of clients do they work with (i.e. age, specific issues), how much they charge for sessions, if they do in-person or telehealth sessions, and if they work with a specific religious affiliation or not. Once you have a list of somewhere around 3-5 therapists, you can send them each the same email. Below is an email template that could be a helpful start:

“Hello, my name is _____. I’m seeking counseling to help with _____ (a few of the most distressing problems in your life currently or from the past, share only what you feel comfortable sharing over email). I noticed you specialize in this issue as well, so I was hoping to set up a consultation call with you to see if we would be a good fit. Please let me know what your availability looks like this week. Looking forward to hearing from you!”

You can edit this how you like but it can be a good jumping off point. After sending these messages, wait to hear back from them for a few days. Therapists should try to be prompt in their responses but may be delayed due to their schedules. If you don’t hear from them in 3-5 days, don’t be afraid to follow up with another email or call.

            Once you set up the phone call, you can use what you’ve already written down to prepare yourself for the call. Be mindful that this if your first interaction with this person, it is our duty as therapists to uphold a safe and non-judgmental space for you, but it is also understandable if you want to build a sense of trust before sharing things very close to your heart. Remember, throughout this call you are evaluating the therapist just as much or even more so than they are evaluating the clinical fit. So, it’s alright to ask questions and to feel out if you feel like you could build a therapeutic relationship with this person. You can reflect on the people in your life that you feel most safe around and think about their qualities or overall “vibe”, seeking a therapist that gives you a similar feel can be helpful. Additionally, you can come prepared with questions to ask them as well. Here are a few examples:

·       What theories do you utilize most in your practice? (If you’re not familiar with the different therapy modalities, we have another blog this month diving into that!)

·       What issues are you most passionate about helping people with?

·       What trainings or certifications do you hold?

·       How do you seek to build trust with your clients?

Lastly, on the phone call you can decide if you’d like to think about before scheduling an initial session. But if you feel like they would be a good fit, you can schedule with them and continue to evaluate whether they would be a good fit. In my graduate studies, we were told that it takes about 6-8 sessions before you start to build true trust within the therapeutic relationship. Although it may be frustrating, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and your needs. If you don’t like the kind of homework your therapist is giving, feedback that they offer, or even the lights or smell in the room you are in, tell them that.

Overall, I hope this was helpful and gives you more confidence in finding a therapist. The therapeutic relationship has been found to be one of the biggest predictors of finding healing, so it is such an importance piece to consider. Additionally, our therapists have openings for new clients so feel free to reach out to them and put these tips to the test!